Are you struggling to “manage” your expectations when it comes to your athletic pursuits? Do you ever get tired of the constant pressure that comes with these expectations? If so, then read on. I’ve got a solution that will cure you forever!

Throughout their careers, athletes face difficulty when their high expectations outweigh their performance. This is especially noticeable if the athlete or team is very skilled and used to playing at a very high level.

Before I go into ways to get over the frustration that shows it’s ugly face when you’re not able to play at your potential, I’d like to discuss a few of the effects that high expectations have on your game.

1. They Lead to Increased Stress, Pressure and Anxiety

2. They Cause Inconsistency, Poor Performance and Decreased Enjoyment

3. They Cause Frustration

4. They Start the Dreaded “Downward Spiral” and Destroy Your Confidence

Well, first you have to realize that the expectations themselves are the root cause of your frustration and disappointment. I know it sounds a little crazy, but follow me on this. Expectations actually rob you of the enjoyment that the game brings.

When you have an expectation, one of two things can happen: either you get what you expected and you feel “okay” - you’re not excited or surprised because you were “supposed to”, or you don’t get what you expected and you fly off the handle – wondering how life could be so cruel as to cheat you this way. Your disappointment then leads to frustration, negative self-talk and the dreaded “downward spiral.” On the other hand, when you have no expectation and your goal is simply to do your job and play the game, your disappointment is replaced with enjoyment and satisfaction.

The real solution here is to take every single one of your expectations, lay them out nice and neatly on the ground and then stomp the living %!@$ out of them! …Trust me, you don’t need them.

Well, you start by letting go of the outcome. Think about it – when do you usually play best? When you’re enjoying yourself, right? When you’re enjoying yourself are you completely obsessed with the scoreboard? …or are you playing because in that moment, you truly love the game, the unique challenges that it brings and the rush you feel when you rise above?

When you let go of the outcome and focus instead on the process, it allows you to squeeze more enjoyment out of every second of the game and because of this, your performance literally skyrockets! Think about it… Many of my clients have faced similar situations - by letting go of the outcome and “going with the flow” they were able to turn their game completely around.

Instead of placing unnecessary expectations on yourself or the situation, choose to focus on the process. Stay in the present moment. In the place of rigid expectations for yourself, develop process focused, manageable tasks for each game or event. Some examples would be:

• Hockey - focus on quality back-checking
• Tennis - increase first serve percentage
• Football - commit to the full execution of each play
• Basketball - focus on passing game
• Track - focus on rhythm during race

The purpose of this kind of process-centered thinking is not so much about achieving the task itself, but by focusing on the task, you become more fully immersed in the present moment and more able to respond quickly and effectively to whatever comes your way. As a result, your confidence is vastly improved.

“Expectations are based in the past. The past is over, so… why waste your time? Visions are based upon the future and they give your mind something it can work with and move TOWARDS. There is power in having a vision.”

Now, some athletes may say that without goals and expectations about how you “should” perform, they would lose motivation. For this reason, I would like to invite you to develop a positive, empowering vision to provide lasting motivation without all the BS. The main difference between a vision and an expectation is that the vision focuses on the end result that you want to achieve and doesn’t bother with minor details. For example, your inspiring vision might be winning the championships or going to the Olympics. As long as you focus on achieving the vision and you hold it in your awareness, your unconscious mind will move you in that direction.

Just stay committed, have a little faith and enjoy yourself.